While the holidays can be a time of celebration, there are aspects of the season that cause tension and stress.  Ensuring your psychological safety as you navigate these next few weeks will alleviate some anxiety that can coincide with the holiday season.

It is important to understand that not everyone may experience joy in the holidays due to grief, infertility, loss, general overwhelm, and social anxiety. If you are a person who enjoys the holiday season, this article is beneficial in learning how to empathize with those who find it difficult. If you find it difficult to navigate the holiday season, here are some helpful tips to maintain your psychological safety during these challenging times.

SOCIAL CONVENTIONS: The holidays are a time to reconnect with family and friends but many experience socially uncomfortable conversations. The best practices for holiday conversation include discussing intrinsic value over someone’s looks and appearance. Try to make conversation surrounding talents or achievements that year, and discuss goals and intentions for the year ahead. It is best to refrain from topics of conversation that include changes in appearance even if you think you are complimenting someone on their recent weight loss. Some people may be using maladaptive or damaging techniques to achieve their altered appearance and praising them could be inadvertently encouraging unhealthy behaviour.

IMPORTANT: It is important to be assertive if a conversation makes you feel uncomfortable and you have the right to withdraw from any exchange that does not sit well with you.

RESPECTING PHYSICAL SAFETY: Hugs and human contact are so wonderful for people who thrive off physical contact but remember, not everyone feels safe when it comes to physical touch. Bodily autonomy and consent are important for adults who have not had good experiences with physical touch. Assuming that everyone wants a hug at family gatherings could be presumptuous. Asking for consent through dialogue such as “Can I hug you?” or “Do you hug?” creates a sensory safe space. This goes for children as well. If you are an adult who is offended that your niece, nephew, or grandchild refuses to hug you, that is a disappointment that is your responsibility to navigate. Healthy bodily autonomy is something that a child should not be guilted or shamed over.

WINDOW OF TOLERANCE: It is important to understand your window of tolerance during the season. As social beings, we want to be able to gather with the individuals who lift us up. It is important to connect with those around us, so we don’t feel lonely or isolated however, stepping outside of our window of tolerance means that we have become overstimulated. The body then releases cortisol and adrenaline leading to burnout and dysregulation. Creating space and time limits with individuals who do not lift your spirits is crucial. Setting boundaries and being aware of people-pleasing tendencies are also aspects that will provide psychological safety. If you are someone who is always in service to others, it might be time to assertively ask for your needs to be met too. As always, ask yourself what you authentically require to recharge from people or events that have drained you. No is a full sentence and it’s a non-negotiable aspect of self-care.

NAVIGATING EXPECTATION: Boundaries and assertiveness are key here in protecting your mental health. As mentioned, “No” is non-negotiable and does not require justification. There can be a huge financial strain that comes with the holidays as well. Expectations of gift-giving can contribute to financial turmoil which also impacts us on a psychological level. Setting expectations with family and friends sets appropriate guidelines for gift exchange.

Have a happy and psychologically safe holiday season from MindSpark Psychotherapy.

By: Stef Wood M.A. R.P. (Qualifying)

If you or someone you know is experiencing burnout or challenges with preserving your energy, click HERE to find support near you.

If you are in an immediate psychological crisis, please present yourself to your local emergency department or call 988 Canada-wide.