Work Relationships with Yourself and Others

Maria Maria Binder

I like work. It gives me joy. I like to collaborate with people, I enjoy being of service, and I enjoy learning every day. Most days, I get all these things; however, there are many days (and nights) when I feel unfulfilled and empty by my workday activities.

I cannot put into words the inner joy I feel when I see my team working harmoniously together, enjoying collaborating with their colleagues, creating great memories that will last a lifetime, and accomplishing great things together. We laugh a lot at work and can be real with each other. That makes the longest days feel worth it and accomplished without the dread of being tired and burned out. I often offer unsolicited advice about working for an employer and a place where you can have fun. We spend too much time at work, and we must fill the space and time with positivity, productivity, learning, and fun, and if not, then we should find a place where we can.

I love technology and embrace all things in the social media world, artificial intelligence, and savvy equipment that will make our lives easier. Human interaction, experiences, and personal connections are imperative in creating and sustaining a successful business. Many of our values and beliefs bleed into our workplace, and when we cannot align with those in our work life, then we need to rethink how we spend most of our hours on any given day. Life is short, and we need to bring our positive experiences home with us as much as we need to work on our personal lives so that we do not bring negative attitudes into our workplace. One feeds into the other.

I have worked professionally for over three decades and can share the following.

Leadership

A good leader will leave an impression on you for your lifetime. I once had a boss who asked me every day, “How was his superstar doing?” I have always had an excellent work ethic, and my boss appreciated and believed in me and wanted me to do and accomplish so much. Knowing that he wanted to mentor me, give me enough freedom to fumble, and reward me with positivity and praise made me want to be and do better. I loved working for this leader, and they would never ask me to do something that he would not do himself. That was a strong lesson for me to learn early in my career, and I now practice that daily as a leader myself.

Mental Health Wellness

Work and your work family can bring you so much joy, and colleagues often become your closest friends and family. I live in a city where I do not have my own family geographically close to me. For the last 26 years of living in Calgary, I have made many friends at work that I now consider my Calgary family. We spend more time with our teammates than we do in most cases with our partners, family, and kids. In a positive work environment, these friendships and relationships can and do encourage your overall happiness.

Having a positive experience with work colleagues can offer many amazing benefits, including collaboration, increased job satisfaction and engagement, better stress management, opportunities to learn and grow from each other, productivity, and, most importantly, a stronger workplace culture. This all has such a wonderful impact on your mental health and wellness.

Spending too much time at work or in a toxic work environment can have a range of negative consequences on your well-being and job performance. We all see so many instances of burnout and chronic stress when working in a toxic workplace. Long hours can lead to physical and mental exhaustion, reducing energy and motivation. I have experienced physical health issues when I do not take care of myself and when I overindulge in less-than-acceptable work environments. Extended periods of work, especially when combined with a sedentary lifestyle because of working long hours, are linked to higher risks of cardiovascular diseases, sleep disruptions, and other health problems. We suffer from fatigue and diminished focus that could lead to mistakes, decreased creativity, and unhappiness. Overcommitment at work usually means less time for the things that you love, like family, hobbies, and self-care. This imbalance can destroy personal relationships and reduce overall life satisfaction. Lastly, constant pressure to work can contribute to anxiety, depression, and a general decline in mental health, which in turn affects both personal and professional life.

The workplace can bring so much happiness and joy with a lifetime of memories; conversely, a hostile workplace can damage your life. In coaching, we typically suggest the following when dealing with tough decision-making. We offer a few options: Can you accept the situation, decide to change the problem, or leave it (strategically, of course). Decision-making is not as simplistic as these three options; however, it’s a good starting point when dealing with how to proceed with your life to make it a place where you can feel good about your professional contributions and be the best you for yourself, your family, and your colleagues.

Life is short, and we all need income to support ourselves and our loved ones. However, let us remember to put on our own oxygen masks first. Take care of yourself before trying to help others, just like on an airplane, where you are instructed to secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others, ensuring you can help effectively. This rule is as important in the workplace as it is in any other situation.

I have sought business coaching and therapy to deal with my conundrums and workplace experiences. Seeking outside professional counseling is imperative when you are at a crossroads when making decisions about your future, life, mental wellness, and overall happiness. Life is an excellent way of helping you make these difficult decisions when you are open to receiving counsel, asking for help, and conducting self-reflection to understand your situation fully.

About the Author

Maria Maria Binder is a passionate advocate for empowering women and is an Amazon Best-selling author who launched her debut book, Find Yourself, in February 2023. Maria volunteers with Tourism Calgary, and her achievements include receiving the 2018 Meeting Professional International Award of Excellence and the Women of Inspiration Innovative Leader Award. Maria is a Director of Operations within the hospitality industry and a dynamic professional with a strong background in business development, event management, marketing, operations, and community leadership.

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